• Emma Green

Dealing with compliments


So many of us struggle with compliments. I find that most people fall into one of two camps. The first is shrugging them off and disregarding them completely. The second is taking complements to heart so much that the person develops a reliance on the comments to feel good about themselves. Neither is a good place to be and both stem from a place of low self-esteem. It’s important to be comfortable in your own skin that you can accept a compliment but not attach so much to it that you need to keep receiving them to feel okay.

I think it’s okay if feedback from others gives us a boost. I had a really interesting chat with a client recently about a new person she’s seeing who recently gave her a number of compliments about the way she looked. She felt a bit guilty for those comments making her feel good and was acutely aware that she didn’t want to become too attached to getting them.

There’s a balance here. You should be able to accept a compliment without deflecting it but it is important that you aren’t dependent on them and realise that there is so much more to you than how you look. You are not a better person because other people find you physically attractive. You don’t owe it to anyone either (despite what society tells women!)

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